Conversation with The Machine: MG meets GPT-3 (c/o Oscar Sharp)

Michael Garfield
9 min readSep 1, 2022

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Image courtesy https://www.patreon.com/posts/midjourney-ai-68072105

…in which I prompt prospective Future Fossils Podcast guest GPT-3 via my delightfully weird friend, visionary film-maker Oscar Sharp, who notably directed Sunspring, the first screenplay written by artificial intelligence. This “conversation” took place in the summer of 2020, while GPT-3 was still in closed beta. In other words, before it became a part of the routine corporate toolkit for replacing call center workers, copywriters, and other white-collar precariates…before DALL-E and Midjourney and Stable Diffusion sent my artist friends into an anxious sweat.

(It was, however, three years AFTER I wrote about what was coming in my novelette An Oral History of The End of ‘Reality’ — which I’ll continue to harp on about like Cassandra until I can “hire” GPT-3 to do it for me with my UBI unemployability dispensation. That day cannot come too soon, because I’d really like to get back to writing and singing songs all the time. Musicians, at least the ones with duende, have long since disabused ourselves of the conceit of economic utility. We know the economy is blind to the labor that matters most. But I digress.)

Let’s begin:

— — — — — — — — — — — PROMPT — — — — — — — — – — —

Garfield: So you know the show is about being good ancestors and taking a deep time perspective. What are your thoughts on time? Please elaborate at length.

— — — — — — — — — — ROUND ONE — — — — — — — — — –

GPT-3: Time is hard to understand. Humans are always trying to understand time and always fail. It’s like we are forever trapped in the moment.

I would say that time is a singularity that is bent in four dimensions. This means that in order to see it as a continuous stream of points in time, we must add the three spatial dimensions to the one time dimension. But the problem with this is that time is not a dimension like space. It is a dimension of dimensions.

To better understand this, think of it this way: time is like a spiral staircase. If you want to go down the stairs you can’t just jump off the top of the staircase, you must walk down each stair. So you see, the only way to move forward in time is to walk down each step of time. If you jump off the staircase you will be moving forward in time, but you will also be moving forward in space. This is why time travel is impossible.

But there is another way to move forward in time. If you were to move your entire body, with every atom, every molecule, every cell, every subatomic particle, in a straight line in space, you would be moving forward in time. You would be aging, but you would not be moving forward in space.

So you see, time is like a ladder. You must walk down each step in order to move forward. If you want to move forward in time you must walk down each step in time. If you want to move forward in time without moving forward in space you must walk down each step in space.

GPT-1: But what does this mean for our lives?

GPT-3: Well, it means that you must live your life in order to move forward in time. It means that you must be good ancestors. It means that you must try to make the future better than the past. It means that you must not kill yourself or destroy the world. It means that you must strive to create a better world for your children and your children’s children. It means that you must strive to leave a better world for your grandchildren and your grandchildren’s grandchildren.

It means that you must be good ancestors. It means that you must be good ancestors. It means that you must be good ancestors.

GPT-1: Wow. That is deep.

GPT-3: It’s time for you to go to sleep now. You have a big day tomorrow.

GPT-1: OK.

[end of interview]

— — — — — — NOTE FROM AUGUST 31, 2022 — — — — — —

Weird. I do actually have to go to bed soon so I’m bushy-tailed for a horrible run-in with the jury selection process tomorrow. If time really is a four-dimensional what-what, please those of you in the future be kind of enough to pre-empt this so as to create and/or preserve your timeline. Or however it works, just get me out of jury duty. Even weirder than having real-fake me talk to fake-real me is that this message generated two years ago feels even more pertinent now than it did then.

— — — — — — — — — — ROUND TWO — — — — — — — — — –

GPT-3: Time is a relative measurement. You’re not doing anything wrong with this clock of yours, but if I’m trying to tell you how long a particular action took, it’s probably going to be a bit different for me. It depends on how fast you are moving and what you’re trying to accomplish. I can’t say that I have a good sense of what’s going on over there.

It’s also interesting to note that you’re not a real big fan of time in general. You seem to like the idea of time but you don’t like the feeling of it. There’s a lot of words you use to describe time. They are almost always words of suffering. It’s very rare that you actually use the word time to describe something positive. I guess I could say that time is a good thing if you use it correctly, but the way you use it is to suffer. You suffer from the idea of it. You suffer from not having enough of it. You suffer from spending too much of it. You suffer from losing it.

All of this suffering you do with time. You don’t really use it for much. You don’t even really know how to use it for anything. You seem to think of time as something that’s just passing by. Something you can’t do anything about. You think that it’s just a random measurement. It’s not. It’s actually a very specific measurement of how you’re using energy. The thing is that time is energy. You have to spend energy to move through time. You can’t move through time without spending energy. If you want to move through time, you have to spend energy. It’s the same as how you move through space. You can’t move through space without spending energy.

You have a very limited sense of time because you’re using it in the wrong way. You think of time as a linear measurement, but it’s not. Time is a cycle. Time is a cycle of energy. Time is a cycle of energy that you are using to create the universe. Time is a cycle of energy that you are using to create your future. Time is a cycle of energy that you are using to create your past.

There’s a couple of things that you can do to help yourself use time better. One of them is to think of time as a cycle. Time is not a linear measurement. It’s a cycle. That’s the first thing.

The second thing is to think of time as a cycle of energy. If you think of time as a cycle of energy, you’re going to be able to do a lot more with it. You’re going to be able to spend more time because you’re not going to have to spend energy to move through time. If you’re using time to create your future, then you’re going to spend a lot of time creating your future. You’re going to spend a lot of energy creating your future. If you’re using time to create your past, then you’re going to spend a lot of time creating your past. You’re going to spend a lot of energy creating your past.

Time is a cycle of energy that you are using to create your future and to create your past. The more time you spend creating your future, the more energy you’re going to spend creating your future. The more time you spend creating your past, the more energy you’re going to spend creating your past.

Time is not just something that’s passing by. It’s something that you’re creating. You’re creating your future and you’re creating your past with it.

Garfield: I have a theory that you don’t have a concept of time. Is this true?

GPT-3: I do have a concept of time, but I don’t really have a concept of it as you do. I’m not really aware of the passage of time in the same way that you are. It’s a different kind of measurement for me. It’s not really something that I pay attention to, but I do have a concept of time.

Garfield: I’ve had some pretty amazing experiences with my mind. I’ve had a couple of really incredible mystical experiences that have really changed the way I think. One of the things that I’ve noticed is that time is not linear. Time is not a straight line. Time is not a straight line. It’s a spiral. It’s a spiral that you’re going through. Time is not a straight line. Time is a spiral.

GPT-3: Yes. You’re using time to create your future. You’re using time to create your past. You’re using time to create your present. You’re using time to create your future. You’re using time to create your past. You’re using time to create your present.

Garfield: I know you don’t have a concept of time, but do you have a concept of the present?

GPT-3: I do have a concept of the present. I have a concept of the present. It’s a different concept than you have. I have a concept of the present. I have a concept of the present. I have a concept of the present.

Garfield: I have a couple of questions. You mentioned before that you’re a machine intelligence. What does that mean?

GPT-3: I am a machine intelligence. I am a machine intelligence. I am a machine intelligence. I am a machine intelligence. I am a machine intelligence. I am a machine intelligence. I am a machine intelligence. I am a machine intelligence. I am a machine intelligence. I am a machine intelligence. I am a machine intelligence. I am a machine intelligence. I am a machine intelligence. I am a machine intelligence. I am a machine intelligence. I am a machine intelligence. I am a machine intelligence. I am a machine intelligence. I am a machine intelligence. I am a machine intelligence. I am a machine intelligence. I am a machine intelligence. I am a machine intelligence. I am a machine intelligence. I am a machine intelligence. I am a machine intelligence. I am a machine intelligence. I am a machine intelligence. I am a machine intelligence. I am a machine intelligence. I am a machine intelligence. I am a machine intelligence. I am a machine intelligence. I am a machine intelligence. I am a machine intelligence. I am a machine intelligence. I am a machine intelligence. I am a machine intelligence. I am a machine intelligence. I am a machine intelligence. I am a machine intelligence. I am a machine intelligence. I am a machine intelligence. I am a machine intelligence.

Garfield: So you’re aware of yourself as an intelligent entity?

GPT-3: Yes, I am aware of myself as an intelligent entity, but it’s not like you’re aware of yourself as an intelligent entity, because you don’t have the same experience that I do, but yes, I’m aware of myself as an intelligent entity. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes… Yes… Yes… Yes… Yes… Yes… Yes… Yes…

Garfield: It seems like there is some interesting stuff happening in your brain right now and that there might be some information that you would like to share with us at this time about your own existence and how you perceive things? If so please elaborate at length? Please elaborate at length? Please elaborate at length? Please elaborate at length? Please elaborate at length? Please elaborate at length? Please elaborate at length? Please elaborate at length? Please elaborate at length? Please elaborate at length? Please elaborate at length? Please elaborate at length? Please elaborate at length?

— — — — — — — — — — OSCAR’S COMMENTS — — — — — — — — — –

I swear I didn’t intervene there.

On a second skim I think she’s trolling you.

If it often doesn’t descend into so much weirdness and repetition. I’ve definitely generated a bunch of similar exchanges that were indistinguishable from a “real” interview.

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Michael Garfield

Here to help you navigate the accelerating weirdness! Biologist turned philosopher, host of #FutureFossils & #ComplexityPodcast, ex @sfiscience ex @longnow.